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The Article

November 7, 2012

 

Savage

November 07.2012.          The Article

 

Well, I went to pray and to learn something. I’ve learned that I am wasting my time and pray asking Jesus to help me  to stop smoking and I’ve conclude that I ever never asked Him to save me whether I’ll stop smoking or not. And I knew that He said we’re all malice and pride, I was for a long time and I am still,

Today I smoke three times less then before. And I ask Him to heal me and He heals me.  That is all so nice and generously, I will start to cry , but the Life is something else. Life is moving and doing. I have to move my mind from that point, I am not sure where to, but I have to move from that circle. It must be something what will make me secure that I am going closer to my dear Lord. I am not satisfied with myself; I pray, I read a little because I have no patient to read big parts of text – I think to much, my brain  wildly jumps; I try to write something I know and I do not know to write, I do duties, I speak when I think I have to – mostly I do not tell all I have in mind; but there must be something more. I see my English is easier and little better and so on, but I can’t write, that is not enough. I have nothing to write about. My writing becomes contemplating without results. I have to say what I see many do not thing about. I have to criticize because that is my vocation. I’m a savage without tools to kill an animal to get myself something to eat, to survive in God. From that chapter we learned today I conclude that Jesus want us to contemplate because you can get Him only if you read dynamically what He said, only one sentence can get you to Him closer. And the Bible you can’t read only literally. I got the explanations of one small part, but it doesn’t mean that I am ready with that part,  with that chapter. Now, in  the loneliness of my cottage in the valley I am going little deeper: what is that what I must do? I do not believe that Bible is about reading and understanding

Jesus’ words. That words have to move my heart, my body and my brain, even my soul is fulfilled. It is not only about the peace in the soul. My valley is peaceful and the night is down, but I want to go hunting. But reacting. That is what Jesus expect. React!

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