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From The Eyes Of A Child, essay

March 15, 2013

 

 

MY  STRANGEHOOD

 

 

 

The third essay, the March, the14th,

2013-03-14

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                               Tomlj.14.3.2013

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

14.3.2013 15:19:16

 

IT IS NICE TO HAVE A TIME AND DATE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE FIRST TRY:

 

 

 

27102011 Freedom in pants

    Pictures of beautiful and colorful dreams had a girl and was happy.
    Mother was silent painful and dad never was not.
    These two had an agreement and the mother of everything around her is worried.
     Warm and bright was her childhood, and the opportunity for silent play by the fire wore rain.

     The dads in the company knew not to talk, but because of the large birds and everyone sang. Strange eyes followed a colleague and silent, curious and suspicious. Secrets of the groups created in which gossip monger with dolls.
     She felt a breeze girl from the secret society, and even the boys her cigarette had offered.
      She was funny what a world, what Wonders are everywhere unexplained.
      The mother allowed the investigating miracles, and to free morning and afternoon school could not. Worked had woman, dreams that her little girl can still knit.

     Miracles appeared in writing, counting and drawing, hot meals and exercise. But through the night alone in a room, girl was crying because she couldn’t find a key of secret chambers of her schooling.
      Only it was nice to hear the story, what happiness and joy rather than keeping quiet all these books but sing and speak of the divot from a young age that she dreamed of a warm home.
      Her mother came sad, but words do not come out that would have revealed miracles.

      Something like that, step by step, the girl began, kissing novels, poems and reciting secret guys knowing. They did not watch in amazement than her flower and offered, how to solve it, she wondered, and dresses her were nice and song and freedom.
       Pregnant mother silently throw flowers in deep cabinets, but let’s recite the warmth in and the light.

Traveled on his trail known, met the young and old, of cigarettes and flowers she knew that she secret societies in which dads.
      One guy is not even given a cigarette or a flower or a dress but trousers and offered a firm hand to keep the little key learning from inexplicable wonders so as not to lose.
She held the key, and recited, grateful for the gift, but the story breaks the fullest freedom in secret was a miracle of freedom violence, but key, had a beautiful girl in trousers readily reveal her path, when the freedom, let’s end.

      She skipped the trauma without flowers and dress, and her dad forgot to read the new novels, right at home beside silent mother, as a woman in pants that do not listen to the birds and recited more than sung freely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

15.10.2011. Field wedding

      There has blossomed apple wounds, green fields of unsuspecting creatures, opened for driving around there – fro. Buds of May and a public holiday as witnesses were in a group of nuptial. Simple souls came to love nature and to experience spring in the meadow and through the woods.

     People were spontaneous, hard and direct, the atmosphere was relaxed and cheerful and everyone knew each other. Fun they were romantic, happy and honest youth, living as it did not fit.

     Pauses the song, a simple urban soul was not fit. Is it that in the city, thought the kids without shoes, is that it works in the whole damn world?

     Traditions are the law, but how to identify them, how to learn a movement and not a word from the city? Why one outing requires so much among people of villages and hamlets, as it failed to welcome them?

       And shock and moans and sacrifice, all of this is the nature sought by urban creature, urban soul that lives only knows how to respond.
        And such was the excursion, this wedding for the May bohemians with concrete and asphalt, libraries and schools, for the poor creature the simple curiosity of meadows and trees and spontaneous people.

      And the old man went into town and wondered secretly, and curiously, trying to retrieve glittering sweets which were well packaged. Simple urban soul poor man bought candy for the barefooted children, but the marriage field, the May was dissolved.

 

 

 

 

 

16122011 Firecrackers

How about what the New Year has been, about fourteen small years developed, on the corner in front of the house you were playing, she went with friends to walk, but not after seven in the evening because you shoot fireworks.

She walked freely in the streets, among the people and firecrackers and rockets and it was a wonderful social experience, but she came home a little later, and the mother is pregnant, worried about sending the bed and went to New Year’s Eve, was left alone.

She’s happy, alone, listening to the fireworks because they are still under the impression it was a nice walk and did not complain or be angry, so I guess it was so she would sleep that the mother does not come before midnight and called the neighbors welcoming. She stood up and as, happily jumped into a dress and neighbors coming down, and it was boring …

She lost the magic of the New Year and again something was missing, but from fatigue, accustomed work off for a rare social obligations as obedient dog, lay on a pillow until the next morning when the mother made ​​a cabbage and potatoes and homemade chutney and together, as usual, listened, with a bit of good red wine, and softly whispering, concert, of course, the New Year’s in Vienna.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13112011 One Percent

One percent for genetic heritability that is a possibility, said the medicine.

How was unfair dad, I’m talking about old times, as grand mother was experiencing is this: that he is better because he is new, and he pretends to be drunk and froze the snow is in the bosom of the large, placid likely, and generally the best shoemaker in the great. So her child, a woman, received freedom miracle of violence, but tedious and soul and body, and seduction it ‘was, it just might serve as women’s dress pants in the war and the actions of the working railroad building and nurturing sister was of great the beginning, and what I saw today all newspapers write so disappointed, but God still trusts seems unconscious; ideology on the track and still accept and fled into love and romance.

What it could have been a wonderful story, beautiful dresses, and formal white and blue aprons devotion, is widely admired, and so this new, again, in the great charm and was much more than knowledge, culture, ethics, religion, which I …

Woman became a mother, he leaves. Not long pants, long-dressed, self-sacrifice, ideals are worn, but the soul was finally snapped. Some time so all you look at her and even more into it than herself. She wore a large force, is it a conscious, probably not much. For the old times without daddy-hood be worse than to be violent it was.

Worse stay young in solitude, what to do with that but did not think, I know, only raced a profession and a naive erudition, she was very wise.

Because the victim was given before she knew for themselves and not stopped until the end, only when she saw that her birth but not dress pants worn constantly since the time they came, then calms down a bit temporarily, pants free dressed up finally still all as before , but I play it for the soul of each bit.

Here now its progeny as still young enough in that one percent, but a woman in pants is the same, same, same fourth.

These days, ninety-nine percent of domestic violence Science says that possibility is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11 11 2011 Childening

    Nothing else you do not speak about it. Do not think, if you know some key points that are in the life of a secret entered.

Maybe could use it as an introduction so I got to say a lot of introductory words.

Mother was, “if you do not respond, go,” said the child who has not learned to go, and about how to get away from it or hers just can not be emotions did not know her, so as to retain blackmail can discern. But do not feel blackmail daughter but just tried to cooperate.

Mother had a not-so-happy childhood, and it was her great love, such as ambition and, despite everything, and war, noble, wise person she was. But, Dad, some seagull, to reach the man could not, nor worry knew.

Therefore lover mother is very useful on a small door to the heart, so she rushed resolve uncertainties and the daughter never about anyone else supposed to know it is not, and never daughter-hood her childlike partially realized. Mother because she was very loved, but gave no lover in your area, so it would be a classic case.

Remembering the young about seven summers when he was really keen on replacing a father to learn but can not seem to discern similarities and differences that are undeveloped soul of God and dad first questions they said, stealing and lying at the same time to be getting out of the penalty once, twice and no more, silent she became.

The second was a believer, but the question of about fourteen, great curiosity by writing words varied and all manner sought, and about this time, by the way, and found herself with a very tricky case that repair had to say, he thought, and a cigarette in the solitude of responsibility, managed daddy-hood not.

Thirty years repairing daddy-hood child, motherhood, hostility, and the medical profession, with the assistance of God, and healed childening is teaching your children, never married, all scattered, but quite pleased.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

16.11.2011. Croatian Methuselah

He was a child of the Second World War occupied by Italians and aunt, the mother of the Blessed early lost, honored elder brother and a younger sister objurgated.

Naive child of God and loved to teach the enemy cheating, speaking alien languages ​​and stuff and got food, the hunger that knows and can do with brats from a small town to cope, saying that him stretch heart.

All the kids became a smart, resourceful, disease oppressed on all sides they gone their fortune. He stayed in the same country and accepted the following four states and dictatorships; memories anyway Croatian heritage tirelessly’re collecting

All without the enormous grief, it supplied an abundance of family and all get warm to him what they were close to him. But from caring for others to himself he could not think, politically and socially committed his entire life, and in the dawn of dictatorship and the rule of various “my Croatia, my Croatia” whispered, and he stressed the louder ones that end it warmed the nights, mornings and days . A good friend was full of heart, but a formidable foe, without enormous misery.

When it was the worst, most daring talked, played chess with this is simultaneous with those and nationalities and ideologies, all in sixteen played, sometimes he just slipped: O Saint Anthony … otherwise saluted and healthy and God-and Tito Party- this-that sort spake, and Glagolitic wall when he showed as we do, as evidenced by a hunter trophy deer horns, a souvenir from his native land, where he lived and certainly arduous, ill, radio, until Croatia became for a while really His solo.
He quieted.
From hope.
From fear.

Old Methuselah was tricky, all political fat coated pad and watched the exodus of Croats, objurgatory politicians and watching documentaries newly discovered.

Understand their experience what it cross his path, without enormous misery, a little cursing and objurgatory, heart clenched to a new dictatorship that has come as the tired eyes, no tears silently cries, “my Croatia, Croatia … mine.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

24112011 can not see nobody

behind the cloud, small, beautiful, you are like snowflakes , the sun sets
how it comports with the mood was not hers, that she thought about the sad affliction of my life that failed her little family was
therefore went to the park, which was deserted, which tracks meandered lakes are diverse, and sat down on a bench beside the swans. There is not one close, but at the heart of it all do not care but shed a tear, a desperate, lonely. But for her second start of tears and she wept that no longer hold. Face in his hands brought the dark, not seeing the beauty around us.
The guy comes across as if it will go, then paused, stopped and asked for a vacancy at her bench as the park was not full of empty benches.
Sitting, without waiting the answer, and she tried to calm down. Nothing she wondered just how difficult life will be known, he said, and glanced, “no one can see me crying,” saying.

Talked a bit how it all together it was gathered, but no major problems. There was only one problem in life is unhappy.

No one must see, smiling very gently and very serious, the youngster said, looking at her with his head down when he fell silent cry.

It’s nice and convenient to the sun was warm word comprehension hear.

Quietly departed, with him gratefully and graciously welcomed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

25122011 retarded

I do not think his illness by any pretext for his sin, and so I think that others are responsible before God for the things which are semi-conscious because in different circumstances reveal themselves as very aware of what they do and then trying to cover up from themselves.

So my predator was the adjective “retarded” very receptive when asked for reasons why someone is not in his reasoning.

So there is a great danger for the child if he repeats this and such adjectives.
It was a painful and devastating to my soul, as much as I understand your children know that I am not such that I did not, but mostly hurt the womb stuttering.

Now the judge of retarded I became what you speak.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

25122011 in the Partisans

how partisans entered into her life, no question but that she bore with the partisans, as the amplifier is definitely her psychosis.
Isolation was to protect some of its deceptive life family of four in which the mother was important to her. He learns to give help, so convinced was not true and that she can not. When you came to realize that the family is not common as a community, the same parse individual relationships that each of them was somehow normal family but the community does not fit at all, just a slight autocratic predators and submissive silence a mother and her then because she was by no means the first to start a conversation unintelligible monologues always had to listen to, which was later recited as a trace of demagoguery that brought home from work and so partisan demagoguery absolutely do not match the recitation at what age a legacy.

This child from birth to around seven years of experiencing in a family that was a copy of the state.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

27122011 Try resocialization

What proves to me that schizophrenia does not occur out of the blue, the pain is to cross the threshold of endurance. If the environment is unfavorable, the plant grows in the wrong. Since the era of soul earliest was wrong, so very young soul has undergone a very sensitive and tragic.

False and incorrect settings in forming opinions and reasoning adults would have to censor the upbringing of children.
If the parent is just selfish and isolated young soul, which is the worst situation, it is sufficient that a man with a lifetime of socialization problems there. That it is, when the mother became successfully improved.

In the words of predators that miracle is surprising, as it is that of the criminals was raised.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

28122011 shut up, shut up

Any resemblance to actual persons is authentic.
Education is often called a little child – women ran in the style of an experiment in which a predator spoke unhappy mother: “Wait, shut up, shut up, to see what I will do …”, then when would any mother help his soul would be welcome. It does not matter adult souls.

Predator because he knows everything, and law and medicine, and how to blackmail and how she gained all that it has to make for himself and had to make a safe haven to take advantage of, the mother is the most sustained and experienced as difficult as disappointed, abused and terrified of what was then a mad with predator issues and child who kept quiet until now because the mother would not recognize anything in life, and then you do not deny his birth material.
I prayed for her conversion.

Does it work to keep quiet because of some silent hope in tangible safety and continues to watch the birth mother’s tactics or is it better birth out unhealthy spirit that so blindly to behave towards her and belittles her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fear

Fear schizophrenics deep in Origins is as with other people.
If that induce fear, people or crazy or crimes make.
If that induce fear, little by little, woven into the very growth of young souls, then he hid, flares after tens of years of awesome strength so that only suicide or drugs to help them.

But death does not solve the problem of death should not be feared but from the horror that life brings.
If the mother is in fear, it is enshrined in the child from conception, but if the mother’s fear of being repaired, the child grow into a confident person can.

So there is still hope that the mother would be opened, but in vain.
As icing on the cake, a predator about to give birth suggestively said, “you’re killed,” a woman who recites in the pants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

31122011 opiate

that predators are capable of everything to help protect yourself, it is seen as very bad she was and instead of comfort and understanding age just instructed to take medication, take up, just let it take to become still more to let the truth come out that would not to light, which shows best doubtful and bad conscience predators because it was otherwise quiet and reliable but honest too.

Or when conciliatory to respond to insults and reflections as the predator would then underway, in order to conquer.

Does so abused soul can give anything to anyone else, but she does not know that he loved, but it certainly knows people answer predator-like.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soul in a wheelchair

If creativity is a mental patient sinks into your soul better than does the common man who hides a soul intimacy, then a healthy man who looks naked sick soul must admit that I was not on anything other than soul sick.

It is the removal of the stigma.

Let the sick soul of a ruthless world where governments wild competition but will not create a genuine, experienced in diseases of the soul, and its promotion as an artist in the making valuable kind.

This is the essence of socialization.

 

 

 

Why am I psychotic

There dimly burning wick and cracked the cane that does not sap your soul plunges and throws in a surge of spirit and thus comes to a dichotomy in itself deeply affected with the devil and about yourself, for example, cites the greats and he thinks that it is worthy of praise soul .
It is a disease that does not hurt and does not come to mind.
Because plunge into his soul the terrible start and continue than to start so that the soul sees sin but it does not mean and can not articulate and escapes from itself to the world of matter.

If the soul is received baptism, golden grain spirit in the heart of a sinful act too comfortable because once received the anointing water, the blood and the Holy Spirit, yet they still can not save souls.

However, should, sooner or later, hurt my wounded heart and stop injuring all around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hummingbirds

was one hummingbird cheerful and constantly rushing to reach as many flowers. Flew very high in the growing, would not it beautiful large petals touched, would not it be a gift of nectar drunk.

She wanted it gift nectar for your flight to be used alone, covet, a small beautiful flower become.

She flew into underbrush quite tasty and there was juice, but all the talk is about the fear of flowers is a small and low to the ground as the sun, so he does not come and trample all. Nice were their scents because the sun is always turning but hummingbirds night flights saw some distant fireflies and make friends with them wanted.

No matter how fast it took off, hummingbirds and fireflies could only watch from a distance, no one had, all the free sky, who sent them to the acquaintance.

Said her fireflies, star one, “How did you get so close that I can see well, tell that there is among you, I would like to come to you.”

But that did not know how to make hummingbird and saddened to see that it can be given to them and they see each other and they neda one flight to another. She did not know what kind of hummingbird nectar could taste the fireflies, which is great, shining brilliantly Glow or how to show your flight when he had a different wing.

They looked like this when the sun was not in longing and fireflies – star of the night saw one hummingbird that flew so slowly that, falling to a low flowers, nectar and grabbed ga spilled all around.

The sun came, he saw a new flower that grows high in the beautiful colors, in itself a happy hummingbird carrying dead from the cold.

 

 

THE END OF FIRST TRY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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