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June 16, 2013

Watched a movie long time ago about two men living together with their most terrible feminized and racist orientations how they raise a normal mail teenager with all benefits from the law for every one of them. It looked real. Today I think that it was an idealistic view the movie was amazing I remember some scenes as I am watching right now and I think how the boy was very mature. They all loved each other, but there was no picture about surroundings, all is happening in their apartment.
Now I see what a good movie and art it was with a message to the world.

Got a message, I am a girl, no, I am a grown woman and do not know what my sex orientation is. I do know what man is and did not like girls, but I think the women are beautiful. There are many cute men and women, often I feel the rush of emotions towards somebody and I think I can say that I love them, no matter who is it, even a man who is gentle and nice, but does not like women.

I had problems in my relations, had many and they all failed.
I never knew if I have to speak first, if I have to answer and which question and if I have to be rude or polite and who is who
It was happening to me to enjoy very much or not enjoy at all in a relation, but never knew how and why, how could know before something that it will be good or terrible. What is that what attracts me and what is not good to try?
I saw that I am not a nice girl everybody told me I am rude, but I attracted men and think it was because of my lousy knowledge and because of my frankness.
I never said yes or I want that.
I did not know how to get myself a cute man.
I did not know how to say no.
I often was hurt.
I often hurt a man very much.
I was shy.
Do not know how to say what is that I am feeling, except in poetic funny words.
I often do not know what I am feeling.
I was lousy at school.
My brain is full of blockades.
I hate society more and more and love lonesome
I am on the strong medications
I do not regret anything
I converted from nothing into the Catholic religion
I am pretty old
I am happy now, last few years
I hate left orientation in politics.

I think that a teenager from the movie is a hidden psycho.
2013-06-16 Sunday 16:50


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