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Just Mad

June 21, 2013

Just Mad
I am holding a moth in my hand, I feel he is still living…well, I opened the blinds and let him go, flied away. It is still bright outside and there is a wind on my hair I put it all up but is too short and falling all around.
I am too lazy to read but this day was full of surprises. It is nine evening and I think nothing poetic. Opened the Book and find this:
John 9:41
41 Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.
So I feel two things, one is about people who are curious about the misery and suffer and the other is how well I really see and am I guilty because I do not see enough to say anything. People are curious about the others when they are not suffering. When they suffer do not see others, have no time and if they see others suffering, they only can have some sort of understanding in suffer which is in their spirits, that understanding each other, even do not know each others’ suffer – every human suffers different. They do not know and can not explain how are they understand someone also suffering because they can not have an objective view on their spirits, the spirit of a human has objective view on his suffer…and in spirit people suffering become one in One who suffers, Jesus. We can tell they are looking at Him and see Him, looking each other through suffer, they do not speak about the weather, they are mostly silent because have nothing new to say each other and they share the pain. Those who start to talk much about suffer is that who is not suffering, but he think that he is a good believer because he sees others’ suffer in front of himself but he doesn’t see God as well. So do I that do not suffer like before and asking myself do I really see now when I am well and I feel a little guilty, very little, but it is important to me to contemplate this because I want to stay close and closer to Jesus. And what am I doing in my every day life? I am asking and searching for understanding times, better and better, when was what I think, closer to God. But the truth is that I can tell more and better and it couldn’t be if I would not see Him very well. I see only happiness and joy in myself but have to be hungry if not something worse. I am mad, mad about Christ.
2013-06-21 Friday 21:34 PM


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